old crush + rant
Today an old crush let me read her journal entries she had written about me. Back when I was at Knox and an ultra-conservative Christian and totally missing out. We never got together because I didn't think God wanted me to have a girlfriend. Other than that, we would have been totally awesome together. Man I was such an idiot. Reading her journal made me pissed at myself for missing out, but also made me very happy to know how much she was thinking and stressing out about me. It's been awhile since I've thought of myself as quite a catch. So now I am happier than I have been in some time. It was really great to talk to her.
I can't help but contrast this to a call I got the other day from another friend from Knox. He called at a really awkward time, just as we were leaving someone's house and starting to say goodbye and everything. Called to say that it was on his conscience to tell me that God loved me and had great plans for me. It totally was not helpful and even disrespectful, arrogant, and insulting (here I go...) and here's why, I realized upon further thought: He believes in God. I don't. He knows this. So when he makes a statement that is only meaningful in his worldview, he is refusing to recognize and respect mine, or believes that I really do believe in God, "deep down inside." This type of behavior is a symptom of an intellectually lazy and irresponsibly closed mindset. By this I refer to complete confidence in a belief that doesn't correspond to any completely compelling evidence. A person with this mindset easily infuriates any open-minded, critically thinking person. Your well-reasoned objections are seen as evidence that supernatural evil powers are confusing and blinding you. Seriously, that is what Christians believe. I would know. How insulting is that?!
I can't help but contrast this to a call I got the other day from another friend from Knox. He called at a really awkward time, just as we were leaving someone's house and starting to say goodbye and everything. Called to say that it was on his conscience to tell me that God loved me and had great plans for me. It totally was not helpful and even disrespectful, arrogant, and insulting (here I go...) and here's why, I realized upon further thought: He believes in God. I don't. He knows this. So when he makes a statement that is only meaningful in his worldview, he is refusing to recognize and respect mine, or believes that I really do believe in God, "deep down inside." This type of behavior is a symptom of an intellectually lazy and irresponsibly closed mindset. By this I refer to complete confidence in a belief that doesn't correspond to any completely compelling evidence. A person with this mindset easily infuriates any open-minded, critically thinking person. Your well-reasoned objections are seen as evidence that supernatural evil powers are confusing and blinding you. Seriously, that is what Christians believe. I would know. How insulting is that?!
posted by Robert at 9:50 PM
7 Comments:
are you sure that you were ever a christian?
back in high school (maybe before, too), i remember suspecting christianity of being simply a charade for you. i'll never forget sitting in mrs macumber's new testament class (10th grade?) -- she was talking about people being "full of the Holy Spirit" and your wisecrack was "so you mean 'full of it'".
i'm not intending to "judge" you... or even claim that i knew you well enough to know for sure. i'm just relating the impression that you had on me at the time.
~Amos
*wink* You're welcome. I also feel better. For some reason, I have this thing where I think I need to be totally and completely up front with people, after having put myself through such nuttiness during my more immature years. Honesty is the best policy in my book. And if it made you feel better about yourself, double bonus! Precisely because of all the nuttiness I put myself through, you will always have a very special place in my proverbial heart. :-D
what mr s doesn't seem to know is that for my part, i've always considered Robby to be a friend, even though we haven't talked much since high school.
what neither of you probably realize is that (based on what i've read here and here[1]) is that i've been having similar struggles recently and that i'm actually interested in the answer to "are you sure...".
[1] http://jesusknowstheanswer.blogspot.com/
beneath the total asshole exterior, s. is a sensitive, friendly guy.
amos, the comment you remember i actually felt really convicted and guilty about afterward, as i recall. if it was a charade, it was a subconscious one. and if that's possible, it means your faith could be a charade and you'd never know it. i don't think you'd want to admit that possibility.
In retrospect, my comment was harsh and I apologize.
no problem s. but in general, your statement is obviously worth thinking about -- i think the fundamental challenge of life is to compose a self-consistent set of ideas to believe in.
as i was typing my first post, i was thinking along almost exactly the same lines since somewhere in 1 john it talks about "the people who left were never actually among us". but it seemed a bit too confrontational to just come out and say that... ;-) on the other hand, i have too much of a scientific approach to everything that when i smelled some new evidence, i couldn't resist putting my fingers in it. and i figured that Bob wouldn't mind...
and if that's possible, it means your faith could be a charade and you'd never know it. i don't think you'd want to admit that possibility.
This is a good point. However, i think that for any pair of diametrically opposed ideas, you can find firm adherents to both. This suggests that it is entirely possible to honestly believe something that is wrong. and i've come to suspect that that statement is independent of an individual's intelligence since it's not a question of your analytical abilities, it's a question of which assumptions you accept to build your worldview upon.
thus, i would think that if anybody ever changes something significant in the way they view the world, it's either a result of ironing out inconsistencies (e.g. "i never really believed, so why should i act as if i did") in their worldview or it manifests a change in accepted assumptions (e.g. "i have decided that God doesn't exist or holds no relevance to me").
well actually, since the Bible seems to say that "no God" is the default, then maybe those two distinctions are artificial...
sorry... i get verbose at times... :-)
Closed minded? I believe in a God that made a man from dirt, had a son who walked on water, killed and then raised said son up from the dead because of all the crap I've done in my life so that I can live with Him forever because he said he loves me...
I'm not really sure if I can be anymore openminded
blah blah blee...blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
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